7 days left
This is disturbing:
http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=04/09/17/1348245
So now i have 7 days before Paris, and i've purchased almost everything i need to purchase, researched everything i need to research, and am now basically determining what i can go ahead and pack, packing it, and trying to find ways to fill my time when i'm not packing. I visited Creekview today, and as always enjoyed it immensely for 2 reasons, the first being that there are so many people there who i love and admire and it's great to see them, the second being the sheer exhilerating relief that I'M NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE.
Ok, so what's been on my mind the past couple of days, once you dwelve past the constant inner repetition of the word "Paris" is a problem that i'm beginning to have with Chloe. (For the like 2 people who might read this who DON'T already intimately know every facet of my life, Chloe is the 9-year-old girl who my mother has been babysitting since she was 6 weeks old, and who i really regard as a sister.) So Tuesday night Chloe had a soccer game, and my mother and i, along with her parents and brother, went to watch them play. It was a really exciting game - my mom and i arrived late, and the other team had already scored, and they scored again just after we got there, to bring the score to 2-0. But Chloe's team fought their way back, with perseverence and some really intelligent play, to tie the score at 2-2. Chloe, as usual, was not a star, but played hard and had some really good moments. So even though they didn't win, i was really proud of Chloe and her team, because coming back like that was quite an accomplishment. After the game, as usual, all the spectators formed a tunnel for the two teams to run though and shake eachothers' hands, and afterwards, i ran to find my girl and congratulate her. Chloe turns to me with a big grin and says, "when we shook their hands, i told them they suck!"
This horrified me, depressed me, broke my heart. I honestly don't understand how someone i love so much can have such little understanding of sportsmanship, and of the spirit of the game i love. But here's the thing: Chloe is, basically, a mean person. She's constantly cruel to her little brother, to my parents, to her own parents...she is intelligent and uses that intelligence to try to find new ways to hurt and manipulate people. This really bothers me.
And today, we were sitting and having tea and cookies with my parents (yes, we're weird and anglophilic...don't ask), and my mother broke off part of her cookie and gave it to me. I then split it in half and gave half to Chloe, who said, "i knew you were going to do that." And that's the thing: Chloe recognizes generous, compassionate, loving behavior. She knows the right thing to do and say in situations and CHOOSES to do otherwise. What's more, she's not devoid of compassion, in the abstract: she loves animals, and wants to be a doctor but is uncomfortable with the idea of making a profit off of people's sickness. It is when it comes to her particular relations with the people around her that she turns into this amoral, uncaring BRAT. How do you deal with this? How does one convince a child to be good, simply for the sake of doing good? Yelling and punishment are useless...
This situation saddens me immensely, as it does my mother. Does anyone have any advice for how we can deal with this?
by the way, i'm pretty sure i've set this so that you don't have to be a blogger user to comment, so if you have something to tell me, do so!
Love y'all.
posted by Monica @ 5:09 PM
1 Comments:
M.E.L. here.
so, I can only really claim why I'm not a silly little brat. And, if I sit and think about it long enough, the answer comes back to the golden rule, in a way, except without religious connotations. However, after typing some and deleting some of my ramble, It's not something I was as a child (though I don't remember my childhood that well, in my old age). It's something that I came to more as I matured and found a place for myself or an identity in the world.
I think, though, it has something to do with appreciation for the world/people around you. Valueing what good people have done, or can do, and returning the gesture, or just doing something to make another person's day better because you appreciate that they are in your life, I suppose. It may, again, be something I just found with age - appreciation for all my family has done for me, appreciation for those who choose to spend their free time socializing with me - maybe partially experiencing the opposite - I'm not sure.
Not to sound horribly insulting, but she sounds like she's a bit spoiled. I was spoiled as a teen, never appreciated my family, now internally suffer for it. you don't know what you have until it's gone, and thus she's taking advantage of the kindness of you, your parents, her parents, etc. Making fun of it because she knows it'll still be there, and she finds some twisted enjoyment out of insulting what she one day come to miss. If she's young - perhaps it's 'teen angst' - a 'phase' - 'a streak of rebellion' - etc.
As I doubt my own coherency, I end here.
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